Ebs

The news is more than 24 hours old

But the thought still makes my blood run cold.

What is it about death that makes us so still? I literally feel like I’m the stationary item on the conveyor belt being pulled unwillingly along. Like time’s soldiers have hauled me into the march.

Yesterday, our friend died. He was only 27.

When a person that young dies of a heart attack it constitutes a tragedy. He went to bed and never woke up…He leaves behind his young wife and son.

You will meet very few people in your life whose passing will not only affect your life but the life of all your friends and family. I don’t know a person who didn’t love him and I don’t know another person in my life who I can say that about.

He was one of those people who always kept their heads above water and who found a solution to his problems. I hope he got to teach enough people about this before he died; about how not to let yourself be defeated.

Our conversations were hardly serious though. He had such a quick and clever sense of humour which resulted in great banter whenever we were in the same company. In fact almost all my memories of him are of us laughing.

From where I was standing it always looked like he sold himself short and that life was harder for him than the rest of us (even though he did his best to hide this). I hope that the doors that were closed on earth will open for him in the afterlife and the opportunities that never came around will be waiting for him there.

Take the rest that you deserve. 

MEET THE MRS

Since I have last blogged a huge event has taken place. I chose not to blog about that time in the life. Not only was I way too busy to update my blog but also I wanted to be a bride who made the focus of marriage the time after the wedding. So what has the last month of my life been like as a married woman?
 
phenomenal. 

Seriously beyond any expectations.

Unlike most married couples, my husband and I spent our honeymoon apart. He started a new job just 2 days after our wedding. I was at home for a few days before I went back to work. Those few days have been the highlight in so many ways. Being at home meant I had the time to be a real housewife. Fully equipped to wake up early and make him a nutritious breakfast; pack in a nutritious lunch and have a nutritious meal waiting for him when he got home. I had a happy and well-fed husband who probably could have gotten used to that type of treatment. In addition, I had time to familiarise myself with our new (STUNNING) home and quaint garden. It was pure bliss, I felt as if I had stepped into the person I was waiting to be for all my life.


I was perfectly stimulated, strangely creative, exceedingly happy and totally in my element. I experienced the most 'job satisfaction' I ever felt. This was based on the fact that I had my client/husband was happy and healthy and receiving the best possible care. Dreams of climbing the corporate ladder were replaced with dreams of cooking up the perfect pasta and watching my husband have his mind blown. Right then I would have gladly given up my 8 years (and counting) of studying for a shot at becoming the wife of the month/year/decade/century.

But just before I could get my cooking colours; just before my thumbs turned green I had to step back into reality. The reality of the 2011 marriage/ family. Where we establish and aspire towards a lifestyle that is always slightly out of reach (purely because when we get to a place where we are comfortable we decide to add to our expenses). Is there really no place in society for the stay-at-home-wife?

Well, unless you marry a prince or an old millionaire- but these come with their own set of issues (the main ones being in the recruitment phase).

I am glad I got a taste of that living. Sadly though, I also now have a taste for that lifestyle. I often think of my days at home while I stare blankly out of my office window. I frown at the thought of coming home to a dirty house, a stack of dishes and a series of dying plants in my garden. Needless to say I have not found the essential middle ground between work and home-life. Has anyone?

With no routine in place, the cleaning has become a mission (sometimes days go by and old food comes to life in the fridge). Our clean washing has been forgotten in the machine more than once, turning it into dirty washing again. And we have settled for fast food more often than we would like to. Having to work full-time has taken the joy out of my housework.

On the days I get it right I follow this schedule
5.00AM: Rise and definitely definitely do not shine
5.10AM: Wake up because of the snooze button - panic sets in
5.15AM: Put a load of washing in: do not mix dark and light colours but do not always have enough washing  to fill the tub/ Do left over dishes
5.35AM: Shower, get dressed, perform morning prayers
6.10AM: Pack lunch for husband and me
6.20AM: Grab something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner and leave for work

This usually happens on a Monday.
I face a steady decline that starts on the Tuesday.
By Friday my schedule looks like this

7.00AM: Wake up and panic
7.15AM: Leave the house having done a cowboy-wash and shouting at my husband that he must buy something for lunch because I'm late.

Upon the suggestion of my husband, we will be taking some time out over the Easter holidays to draw up a programme. This came after I expressed my unhappiness about how tired we both are all the time and how the house just never looks clean anymore.

I guess if this is going to work I have to get rid of my feminine ego and agree to let him help me around the house on a daily basis.